What Happend to Wooden boats

I know why boats aren't made of wood much anymore, it would be way to easy to set them on fire and get rid of them! Yes it is a boat rave. Hey it is spring so get over it and hear me out. The old joke is that the best 2 days in any boat owners life is when he gets his boat and when he can finally get rid of it. I have only had my boat 2 years and I have already grown to loath it. I swear it seems to smile at my pain.

I went to crank it a few weeks back and of course the battery was down. The battery of course is stored in a spot that is not reachable by the average guy - - OK may be by the average sized guy can, but that ain't me. I finally get it out and on the charger and begin the grueling process of trying to get it to charge. What, you don't know about this! Oh yea now we have smart chargers that won't charge if the battery is to far discharged - - WHAT! Yep, if the battery is totally discharged the battery charger won't even try to charge it. At any rate, after much coaxing and a 1/2 dozen restarts it finally takes a charge. Success at last.

So last weekend Barb and I are going to take a little boat ride. But first I must reinstall the battery in it's secret place. I can do this, after all I got it out didn't I. 3 hour later the battery was in and the boat was cranked. Unfortunately I was now way to hot and sweaty to go for a ride so we decided to wait until later in the afternoon. No problem, life is good.

At 4:00 we decided it was a good time to go for a ride. Barb by now had been wearing her sun block all day and had a decidedly Coppertone smell. The dog (Holly the terrorist) was following her and trying to lick her legs every time she stopped moving. Holly really likes Coppertone. At any rate we are in our bathing suits and ready to go. We haul all our stuff to the boat and board the proud vessel. Part of our "stuff" was the required cleaning supplies to remove the 68lbs of spider poop that was deposited on everything. After some minutes of poop cleaning, I declared that a little spider poop never hurt anyone, let's shove off. You guessed it the battery won't turn the motor over, not even a relay click. My first thought was to burn the damn boat. Barb pointed out that while I had hauled 10 gallons of gas ($40 worth) and filled up the tanks the boat was made of aluminum and probably would not burn. Curses foiled again!

And that my friend is what happened to all the wooden boats!