Few of us are fortunate enough to have know a good "letter writer" in our life times. Most of us tend to be better communicators in either the spoken work or the written word, but seldom both. Let's be honest most of us are "talkers". Most really good written communicators tend to come up short on the verbal side, but it appears to me that written communications carry more weight. The era of writing a good letter or memo for that matter have just about passed. We tend to jot a few words in an email or pick up the phone and bam- we are done.
I don't know why I found myself musing about this today, but it was on my mind and I reflected back on people that I have known with a great skill for writing. I don't think I have it by the way, as a matter of fact I know I don't, it is a real gift that few are blessed with.
I have known 2 or 3 really good written communicators in my lifetime. Amazing really, I am nearly 58 years old and have only know 2 or 3. Several years ago there was a regional manager with a company that we worked for that had the "gift". His name was Tom. Tom was a moody guy, whose verbal skills were lacking and he tended to really irate people with his manor whenever he was in the room. In fact he was down right easy not to like. But when he wrote a letter, (we used to do that back then), it was powerful. Every word seemed to have weight and value. It was like he was building something of lasting value with each communication. They were never ambiguous or vague, and no matter what the subject matter, they left you feeling satisfied. You felt as if he had shared something intimate of great value, even if he was dressing you down about something you had failed to do.
There is a good chance that you have never crossed a "writer" in your lifetime, they are rare. If that is the case, then this may all sound a bit strange. There are many sources out there and they are worth finding just so that you can have the experience. When Ken Burns did his epic on the Civil War for public television, it was the letters form soldiers that he laced in, that kept us spellbound for hours. Most were short with amazing clarity and feeling. That kind of communication is hard for us and nearly lost.
I Googled "How to write a letter" and got 57,300,000 hits. Must be tough if there are that many results on how to do it. Next time you get the chance pick up a book of letters. It helps if they were written at least 50 years ago. (more people knew how back then) Read a few, and I think you will agree we have lost a lot when it comes to communicating with our fellow man.
Maybe we can do better.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Bubbles
I was in Cracker Barrel Saturday morning and they were having a porch sale. It is really hard for me to pass up a sale, especially a porch sale! I spotted some children's battery powered bubble blowers, and decided I could not pass them up. I was filling a small hand basket when the smooth talking sales lady saddled up to me and said "Hey buddy, I got 3 or 4 cases of those in the back if you want." She obviously spotted me as a man with vision or as an easy mark! I told her I would take 2 cases, and a man standing behind me piped up and said "I will take 2 cases as well". He wife immediately called him out on that and said "What are you going to do with 2 cases of bubble blowers?" He pulled himself up and in his best man tone said; " Oh yea, what do you think he is going to do with 2 cases of bubble blowers." Made perfect sense to me!
As we were waiting at the check out with our bubble machines, we caused quite a stir. His wife was still questioning the wisdom of his purchase, meanwhile folks were trying to get close enough to see what was so great that these 2 old dudes were buying them by the case. Needless to say Cracker Barrel sold out of bubble machines in record time - - -and all the customers were men like myself who saw the vision.
I raced home to award my neighbors on the river from my new found larder. They all acted excited, but the trail of bubbles I expected to see floating down the river never really materialized that lazy Saturday afternoon.
I guess some people just outgrow bubbles. I hope I never do! I choose to believe that the other guy had better luck. I bet somewhere there was a whole neighborhood awash in bubbles. I bet his wife was even telling people it was her idea - - and that would be OK. I think I will try again next week!
As we were waiting at the check out with our bubble machines, we caused quite a stir. His wife was still questioning the wisdom of his purchase, meanwhile folks were trying to get close enough to see what was so great that these 2 old dudes were buying them by the case. Needless to say Cracker Barrel sold out of bubble machines in record time - - -and all the customers were men like myself who saw the vision.
I raced home to award my neighbors on the river from my new found larder. They all acted excited, but the trail of bubbles I expected to see floating down the river never really materialized that lazy Saturday afternoon.
I guess some people just outgrow bubbles. I hope I never do! I choose to believe that the other guy had better luck. I bet somewhere there was a whole neighborhood awash in bubbles. I bet his wife was even telling people it was her idea - - and that would be OK. I think I will try again next week!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Chapter 2
I went for my official pre-op (that's doctor talk) consult this past Thursday. I still have not made up my mind as yet, but all signs still point that way. There are a few roadblocks in the way yet. One big one is my insurance does not cover the surgery. Turns out, Blue Cross offers 5 different plans in the State of Alabama. Apparently 4 of them cover the surgery. Guess which one we have! I guess we don't have one of those "Cadillac" plans Obama is always taking about. The insurance-rep was very nice, but just to make sure I understand, she said I will be getting a letter from a Blue Cross attorney. No joke a letter from their attorney - - -I guess they want to make sure there is no misunderstanding. I am pretty sure I get it already. The good news is that since Barb is one of those retired Chrysler employees, I may be covered under her Blue Cross plan. Maybe being the key word here. I think it is one of those "Dodge" or "Ford" plans but again no "Cadillac" plan here. We will see.
At any rate I am proceeding with all the formalities to get myself prepared. Barb went with me for moral support, and the first think she noticed in the smallish waiting room was that it was furnished with small settees. I was standing since the room was full and I could not fit on her "settee" with her. I explained, as quietly as I could, that these were bariatric chairs. It was then that she realized we weren't in Kansas any more Toto. She eventually had to leave for another appointment, and I was left to bond with my own kind.
We laughed, we cried, we told stories. Big people bond well! Turns out 2 of the small group had gotten this far before only to decide to do it on their own. It was amazing, between the 2 of them they had lost 150 pounds, at least before they gained 175 pounds back. Two of the folks had already had the surgery and were back for check-ups. They had lost a lot of weight, but were not there yet. (their words) I took a little informal pole as post surgery patients came and went. (They were easy to spot) They all said without exception that they were glad they did it and would do it over again in a heart beat. I will confess I did not see anyone with "six pack" abs, but they may use a different door.
After 2 hours I finally got in to see the doctor. I got my official BMI number on a print out suitable for framing. The doctor is very matter of fact, but I was impressed with his demeanor. He said I would be a difficult surgery since I have previously had a colon resection. He said he was up for it if I was. They gave me 10 pages of instructions on things I needed to get done before surgery. Number one on their list - - find out about that insurance! They said they would do all they could to help. Number two - - no more cigars, none, nada, zip. He said I would be tested for nicotine, and he would not do the surgery if I tested positive. I did not have my customary stogie this weekend, but I choose to consider this a negotiation tactic on his part for now.
I asked if he thought it would be easier if I waited for "Obama Care". I got the distinct impression that if "Obama Care" does go through he will become an auto mechanic. ( BMW and Mercedes only) He said he had practiced in India and England, and that Americans will be very unhappy under those systems.
His office emailed me an 80 page PDF file on life after surgery. Now that my friends is a fun read! Can you say pureed peas - - -yum! That is just until I can handle pureed potatoes. In no time I will be up to a thimble of food that I chew on my own - - -60 times.
Next week I wrestle with Blue Cross of Michigan and go to the Heart Center for a stress test. I hope skinny is worth all this!
At any rate I am proceeding with all the formalities to get myself prepared. Barb went with me for moral support, and the first think she noticed in the smallish waiting room was that it was furnished with small settees. I was standing since the room was full and I could not fit on her "settee" with her. I explained, as quietly as I could, that these were bariatric chairs. It was then that she realized we weren't in Kansas any more Toto. She eventually had to leave for another appointment, and I was left to bond with my own kind.
We laughed, we cried, we told stories. Big people bond well! Turns out 2 of the small group had gotten this far before only to decide to do it on their own. It was amazing, between the 2 of them they had lost 150 pounds, at least before they gained 175 pounds back. Two of the folks had already had the surgery and were back for check-ups. They had lost a lot of weight, but were not there yet. (their words) I took a little informal pole as post surgery patients came and went. (They were easy to spot) They all said without exception that they were glad they did it and would do it over again in a heart beat. I will confess I did not see anyone with "six pack" abs, but they may use a different door.
After 2 hours I finally got in to see the doctor. I got my official BMI number on a print out suitable for framing. The doctor is very matter of fact, but I was impressed with his demeanor. He said I would be a difficult surgery since I have previously had a colon resection. He said he was up for it if I was. They gave me 10 pages of instructions on things I needed to get done before surgery. Number one on their list - - find out about that insurance! They said they would do all they could to help. Number two - - no more cigars, none, nada, zip. He said I would be tested for nicotine, and he would not do the surgery if I tested positive. I did not have my customary stogie this weekend, but I choose to consider this a negotiation tactic on his part for now.
I asked if he thought it would be easier if I waited for "Obama Care". I got the distinct impression that if "Obama Care" does go through he will become an auto mechanic. ( BMW and Mercedes only) He said he had practiced in India and England, and that Americans will be very unhappy under those systems.
His office emailed me an 80 page PDF file on life after surgery. Now that my friends is a fun read! Can you say pureed peas - - -yum! That is just until I can handle pureed potatoes. In no time I will be up to a thimble of food that I chew on my own - - -60 times.
Next week I wrestle with Blue Cross of Michigan and go to the Heart Center for a stress test. I hope skinny is worth all this!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Gastric Bypass
I went to a seminar last night hosted by a highly respected surgeon. The purpose was to educate us about our options for weight reduction through surgery. The Doctor decided to give seminars because he is literally flooded every day by calls from people who want to know about the procedures. It was a very serious presentation with life altering implications. As you might guess those of us there are desperate for help. The seminar was very informative, and I for one intend to proceed with the procedure. It is no small undertaking, and cannot be taken on without serious thought and commitment. I have to go through 6 months of diet, testing, psych evaluation, and red tape to be eligible for the surgery.
All that said I could not sit there in that room and not see the humor in the situation. At 6 ft. and 300 pounds, I felt rather svelte in this group! Here we were 50 or 60 seriously overweight people trying to sit in an auditorium with seating designed for 150 pound people. It was explained that all the seats had swivel desk tops so that we could take notes. The only problem being that anyone was small enough to work that swivel desk top around our middles, would not be here in the first place.
There was a big sign on the door that said: "No Food or Drinks Allowed" OK so it is 5:00 PM, about the time most of us are starting to think about a little snack before dinner and here we are in a 2 hour seminar - - "No Food or Drinks Allowed" The women had some serious advantage here since most of them were carrying a purse that would hold a weeks rations. As a "Large Boned" person, I have an ear that is tuned to the sounds of various snack food wrappers. I am pretty sure I heard a Hostess Cup Cake, Doritos, Snickers, and a Bit-O-Honey being consumed during the presentation. I was pretty sure I picked up the sound of a Klondike Bar, but it was midway through, and unless someone had an insulated purse, I guess that would not be possible. By that time I was getting a little weak myself so my ears may have been playing tricks on me.
The lady in front of me whipped out a Diet Dr. Pepper and a hand full of mints before the seminar started. I told her straight up that unless she wanted to start a stampede were innocent people could get hurt, she better put it away. She gave the room a careful scan to make sure it was not too late and then eased it back in her purse. Crisis averted!
The doctor talked a lot about "morbidity" and "morbidity factors". I never was sure exactly what that word meant (I have since looked it up) but it sounds gross and generally scares the hell out of me. Turns out I am morbidly obese and have 3 morbidity factors, you know that can't be good!
He showed us charts that show the death rates for obese people. Based on the make up of that crowd, death had to be close at hand. Maybe that is what I mistook for the sound of that Klondike Bar. Maybe it was the grim reaper trying to trick us into coming over.
All I know for sure is that the line at the Burger King around the corner sure was long when the seminar was over - - -not that I was in it mind you. I just sorta kinda noticed on my way home.
All that said I could not sit there in that room and not see the humor in the situation. At 6 ft. and 300 pounds, I felt rather svelte in this group! Here we were 50 or 60 seriously overweight people trying to sit in an auditorium with seating designed for 150 pound people. It was explained that all the seats had swivel desk tops so that we could take notes. The only problem being that anyone was small enough to work that swivel desk top around our middles, would not be here in the first place.
There was a big sign on the door that said: "No Food or Drinks Allowed" OK so it is 5:00 PM, about the time most of us are starting to think about a little snack before dinner and here we are in a 2 hour seminar - - "No Food or Drinks Allowed" The women had some serious advantage here since most of them were carrying a purse that would hold a weeks rations. As a "Large Boned" person, I have an ear that is tuned to the sounds of various snack food wrappers. I am pretty sure I heard a Hostess Cup Cake, Doritos, Snickers, and a Bit-O-Honey being consumed during the presentation. I was pretty sure I picked up the sound of a Klondike Bar, but it was midway through, and unless someone had an insulated purse, I guess that would not be possible. By that time I was getting a little weak myself so my ears may have been playing tricks on me.
The lady in front of me whipped out a Diet Dr. Pepper and a hand full of mints before the seminar started. I told her straight up that unless she wanted to start a stampede were innocent people could get hurt, she better put it away. She gave the room a careful scan to make sure it was not too late and then eased it back in her purse. Crisis averted!
The doctor talked a lot about "morbidity" and "morbidity factors". I never was sure exactly what that word meant (I have since looked it up) but it sounds gross and generally scares the hell out of me. Turns out I am morbidly obese and have 3 morbidity factors, you know that can't be good!
He showed us charts that show the death rates for obese people. Based on the make up of that crowd, death had to be close at hand. Maybe that is what I mistook for the sound of that Klondike Bar. Maybe it was the grim reaper trying to trick us into coming over.
All I know for sure is that the line at the Burger King around the corner sure was long when the seminar was over - - -not that I was in it mind you. I just sorta kinda noticed on my way home.
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