I know why boats aren't made of wood much anymore, it would be way to easy to set them on fire and get rid of them! Yes it is a boat rave. Hey it is spring so get over it and hear me out. The old joke is that the best 2 days in any boat owners life is when he gets his boat and when he can finally get rid of it. I have only had my boat 2 years and I have already grown to loath it. I swear it seems to smile at my pain.
I went to crank it a few weeks back and of course the battery was down. The battery of course is stored in a spot that is not reachable by the average guy - - OK may be by the average sized guy can, but that ain't me. I finally get it out and on the charger and begin the grueling process of trying to get it to charge. What, you don't know about this! Oh yea now we have smart chargers that won't charge if the battery is to far discharged - - WHAT! Yep, if the battery is totally discharged the battery charger won't even try to charge it. At any rate, after much coaxing and a 1/2 dozen restarts it finally takes a charge. Success at last.
So last weekend Barb and I are going to take a little boat ride. But first I must reinstall the battery in it's secret place. I can do this, after all I got it out didn't I. 3 hour later the battery was in and the boat was cranked. Unfortunately I was now way to hot and sweaty to go for a ride so we decided to wait until later in the afternoon. No problem, life is good.
At 4:00 we decided it was a good time to go for a ride. Barb by now had been wearing her sun block all day and had a decidedly Coppertone smell. The dog (Holly the terrorist) was following her and trying to lick her legs every time she stopped moving. Holly really likes Coppertone. At any rate we are in our bathing suits and ready to go. We haul all our stuff to the boat and board the proud vessel. Part of our "stuff" was the required cleaning supplies to remove the 68lbs of spider poop that was deposited on everything. After some minutes of poop cleaning, I declared that a little spider poop never hurt anyone, let's shove off. You guessed it the battery won't turn the motor over, not even a relay click. My first thought was to burn the damn boat. Barb pointed out that while I had hauled 10 gallons of gas ($40 worth) and filled up the tanks the boat was made of aluminum and probably would not burn. Curses foiled again!
And that my friend is what happened to all the wooden boats!
Friday, May 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
A World of Causes
It is official now. We had long suspected it was the case, but now we have proof! The tide went out this morning along the Gulf coast. If this trend continues unchecked, all the worlds oceans will dry up in 7 years! What will we do? What - -it happens every day you say. You are trying to tell me that this is a natural cycle. How simple minded can you be, there were people there who saw it occur! Go ahead stick your head in the sand if you want, but just remember I told you in time to stop it. If man had only changed his ways, this catastrophe could have been avoided.
I heard on the way in this morning that the water level in Lake Victoria was falling. The "journalist" went on to say that if this trend continues unabated that Lake Victoria would be completely dry in 30 years. Must be that Global warming thing again. The only problem is that the water level in the lake has fluctuated for years thousands of years - -even after "we fixed it" in 1954 with a big dam.
If I had any hair, I would pull it out!
I know the world is warmer. What I don't know is why, or for how long. I also don't know why Mars is getting warmer, but I know it is.
We love causes. I know I do. There is nothing better than a puppy in peril on TV to cause us to rise to the occasion, band together and move mountains to save it. Nothing wrong with that, I like puppies. I just think we should choose our causes with a little more thought.
As a matter of fact, once the "cause" has been declared (in the case of Global warming by non other than Al Gore) it is complete heresy to question it at all. For any scientist, it is a career ending move to even question whether it is man made or maybe something as simple as a solar cycle.
It speaks volumes to our arrogance as humans. Our assumption is that there is nothing "bigger" than us. If anything significant happens one way or the other, man must have caused it. Sharon Stone created an outcry in China recently when she suggested that the earth quake there was a result of "bad karma" because China mistreats Tibet. I bet Sean Penn agrees, maybe even Al Gore.
Maybe that whole bad karma thing is what caused global warming. No that would fly in the face of the undisputed science. We are doing it to ourselves. It is the whole carbon thing. We need to all rush out and buy carbon credits. Just so happens that Al Gore is part owner in a company that sells them, which makes it really convenient since we know they will be the real thing and not some Chinese knock off.
Now Mars on the other hand has got to be karma related to the whole treatment of Tibet thing. Nothing else makes sense scientifically!
By the way, next time you are in Africa please carry a bottle of water to pour in Lake Victoria - - just in case. You know if we all band together we could lick this thing. No tap water please. The best water comes from melting a glacier.
I heard on the way in this morning that the water level in Lake Victoria was falling. The "journalist" went on to say that if this trend continues unabated that Lake Victoria would be completely dry in 30 years. Must be that Global warming thing again. The only problem is that the water level in the lake has fluctuated for years thousands of years - -even after "we fixed it" in 1954 with a big dam.
If I had any hair, I would pull it out!
I know the world is warmer. What I don't know is why, or for how long. I also don't know why Mars is getting warmer, but I know it is.
We love causes. I know I do. There is nothing better than a puppy in peril on TV to cause us to rise to the occasion, band together and move mountains to save it. Nothing wrong with that, I like puppies. I just think we should choose our causes with a little more thought.
As a matter of fact, once the "cause" has been declared (in the case of Global warming by non other than Al Gore) it is complete heresy to question it at all. For any scientist, it is a career ending move to even question whether it is man made or maybe something as simple as a solar cycle.
It speaks volumes to our arrogance as humans. Our assumption is that there is nothing "bigger" than us. If anything significant happens one way or the other, man must have caused it. Sharon Stone created an outcry in China recently when she suggested that the earth quake there was a result of "bad karma" because China mistreats Tibet. I bet Sean Penn agrees, maybe even Al Gore.
Maybe that whole bad karma thing is what caused global warming. No that would fly in the face of the undisputed science. We are doing it to ourselves. It is the whole carbon thing. We need to all rush out and buy carbon credits. Just so happens that Al Gore is part owner in a company that sells them, which makes it really convenient since we know they will be the real thing and not some Chinese knock off.
Now Mars on the other hand has got to be karma related to the whole treatment of Tibet thing. Nothing else makes sense scientifically!
By the way, next time you are in Africa please carry a bottle of water to pour in Lake Victoria - - just in case. You know if we all band together we could lick this thing. No tap water please. The best water comes from melting a glacier.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Passing of a pet
My friend Rick, recently had the grim task of consoling his young son Jordan, who was coming to grips with the loss of a pet. Jordan and his sister found a lizard in the back yard last week, and like good youngsters everywhere they adopted it. Jordan soon realized a lesson that many of us don't learn until we are much older. That lesson is that if you love something, you must often set it free no matter how much you want to keep it. With watery eyes, Jordan set his new pet free after a couple of days.
That might have been the end of the adventure, but I am sad to say for Jordan that it was not. He was on the lookout for his little pet and sure enough, a couple of days later he found him again. Jordan once again took the little critter into his care. As an adult it occurs to me that any lizard that allows itself to be caught twice, might not be in the best of health. Mr. Lizard I guess was not as he soon died.
Jordan wanted to have an official burial. His dad agreed to this, but was soon left with a problem as Jordan had decided that only a metal coffin would do. As the lizard was doing what dead things do, Rick went looking for a suitable container. I provided an Altoids box, painted for the occasion, and the funeral was on. With many tears, Mr. Lizard was placed in his coffin, which by now had to be placed in a zip lock bag to protect the innocent. Services were planned. Graveside services will be held today at 4:30.
This story, or one like it, has been played out many times across our country this very day. It is how our children learn values and learn how to live as adults. Some fathers have always flushed the lizard down the toilet, while others have looked for the metal coffin. My concern is about the ratio. I am afraid today we have a lot more "flushers" than we had 25 or 30 years ago.
Were Norman Rockwell here today he would have been moved to paint this scene, and we would all have understood what it meant when we saw it in the "Saturday Evening Post". We would all have smiled and felt comfortable. The scene takes me back to a time when we all felt closer to each other. I really miss that time, but the ritual of Mr. Lizard's funeral gives me hope. We need a lot less flushers.
If you are not old enough to remember the "Saturday Evening Post" you have really missed something. It is not to late to enjoy Norman Rockwell however, and we should all do so lest we forget how life once was in our country - - at a simpler time.
That might have been the end of the adventure, but I am sad to say for Jordan that it was not. He was on the lookout for his little pet and sure enough, a couple of days later he found him again. Jordan once again took the little critter into his care. As an adult it occurs to me that any lizard that allows itself to be caught twice, might not be in the best of health. Mr. Lizard I guess was not as he soon died.
Jordan wanted to have an official burial. His dad agreed to this, but was soon left with a problem as Jordan had decided that only a metal coffin would do. As the lizard was doing what dead things do, Rick went looking for a suitable container. I provided an Altoids box, painted for the occasion, and the funeral was on. With many tears, Mr. Lizard was placed in his coffin, which by now had to be placed in a zip lock bag to protect the innocent. Services were planned. Graveside services will be held today at 4:30.
This story, or one like it, has been played out many times across our country this very day. It is how our children learn values and learn how to live as adults. Some fathers have always flushed the lizard down the toilet, while others have looked for the metal coffin. My concern is about the ratio. I am afraid today we have a lot more "flushers" than we had 25 or 30 years ago.
Were Norman Rockwell here today he would have been moved to paint this scene, and we would all have understood what it meant when we saw it in the "Saturday Evening Post". We would all have smiled and felt comfortable. The scene takes me back to a time when we all felt closer to each other. I really miss that time, but the ritual of Mr. Lizard's funeral gives me hope. We need a lot less flushers.
If you are not old enough to remember the "Saturday Evening Post" you have really missed something. It is not to late to enjoy Norman Rockwell however, and we should all do so lest we forget how life once was in our country - - at a simpler time.
Monday, February 25, 2008
It boggles the mind!
So much going on. I am a back-slid blogger, but I vow to change. Doctor says I am a diabetic. That sucks! All new rules for eating, no more "banking points" for a night time pig put. This only makes sense if you are a fellow Weight Watcher, or a least a former WW as I am. I am losing weight and my latest blood work was good. Enough about that.
This is my season - - politics! I am a confessed political junkie. I don't really know why, I don't believe any of them, but I sure do like to watch. It has been a very interesting election cycle. A black man, a white woman, and one very seasoned citizen. Who would have thunk it.
Last but not least, Rick has got me going to a welding class. It is not like he forced me, he just told me he was going and I sure do hate to miss anything exciting. I have burned up a lot of welding rods, and I still suck. The good news is I don't have to make a living at it so sucky is OK. Is that cool or what! The class was not cheap though. $175 to sign up and $500 for the welder I now think I can not live without!
Come to think of it my friend Rick is going to cost me a fortune. He keeps coming up with neat stuff he wants to learn about and do - - -and I am easily lead astray. I will be broke but well rounded. I am pretty sure that has the makings of a career path for a WalMart greeter.
Speaking of WalMart, I went to WalMart tonight to buy a shoe horn. (yes, I got some new shoes. I have been looking for a couple of weeks and can't find a shoe horn anywhere - -at least not one that I was willing to part money with to buy. Us greeters have to watch our pennies. I went to the shoe department and asked the lady where they kept the shoe horns. She told me that she had only worked their a week and did not know what a shoe horn was, so she went and got the department head. Turns out they had long plastic ones and fancy metal ones, but no "regular" shoe horns at all.
I had one of the long, plastic, $2 shoe horns in my hand and was telling the department manager that every shoe store used to give away shoe horns with every pair of shoes, whether you wanted them or not. As a matter of fact, I am sure that I must have 100 here in the house somewhere, if only I knew where. At any rate, I was telling her about how it used to be. OK, I was telling her back as she was walking away from me. She took about 10 steps to her official department managers cart, pulled out a drawer and gave me a very nice, regular old shoe horn. I know she was rich, ther must have ben 50 of them in her drawer. I sure hope the shows one to the first lady I met - -she needs to know what a shoe horn is if she is going to work in the shoe department don't you think. ay any rate, I was too embarrassed to put the $2 one back, so now in my house there are 102 shoehorns - - 2 of which I can now find - - at least temporarily!
This is my season - - politics! I am a confessed political junkie. I don't really know why, I don't believe any of them, but I sure do like to watch. It has been a very interesting election cycle. A black man, a white woman, and one very seasoned citizen. Who would have thunk it.
Last but not least, Rick has got me going to a welding class. It is not like he forced me, he just told me he was going and I sure do hate to miss anything exciting. I have burned up a lot of welding rods, and I still suck. The good news is I don't have to make a living at it so sucky is OK. Is that cool or what! The class was not cheap though. $175 to sign up and $500 for the welder I now think I can not live without!
Come to think of it my friend Rick is going to cost me a fortune. He keeps coming up with neat stuff he wants to learn about and do - - -and I am easily lead astray. I will be broke but well rounded. I am pretty sure that has the makings of a career path for a WalMart greeter.
Speaking of WalMart, I went to WalMart tonight to buy a shoe horn. (yes, I got some new shoes. I have been looking for a couple of weeks and can't find a shoe horn anywhere - -at least not one that I was willing to part money with to buy. Us greeters have to watch our pennies. I went to the shoe department and asked the lady where they kept the shoe horns. She told me that she had only worked their a week and did not know what a shoe horn was, so she went and got the department head. Turns out they had long plastic ones and fancy metal ones, but no "regular" shoe horns at all.
I had one of the long, plastic, $2 shoe horns in my hand and was telling the department manager that every shoe store used to give away shoe horns with every pair of shoes, whether you wanted them or not. As a matter of fact, I am sure that I must have 100 here in the house somewhere, if only I knew where. At any rate, I was telling her about how it used to be. OK, I was telling her back as she was walking away from me. She took about 10 steps to her official department managers cart, pulled out a drawer and gave me a very nice, regular old shoe horn. I know she was rich, ther must have ben 50 of them in her drawer. I sure hope the shows one to the first lady I met - -she needs to know what a shoe horn is if she is going to work in the shoe department don't you think. ay any rate, I was too embarrassed to put the $2 one back, so now in my house there are 102 shoehorns - - 2 of which I can now find - - at least temporarily!
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